Creating life is an incredibly intricate and personal thing. Before you even know the gender of your baby, you are likely feeling so bonded and attached to the soul growing inside of your body. That is exactly how I felt. I assumed, like most people probably do, that my baby was flawless.
Finding out that he wasn’t was a punch in the gut. Before the appointment, my baby was seemingly perfect. After a call from the doctor, he had a diagnosis that I had never even heard of. I felt guilty and hopeless. I knew that no matter what I would adore my baby boy. But I was so terrified of how this would affect his life, his friendships, his relationships, and his development – everything. I felt like I had failed him before I even met him.
In the same call that my doctor informed me about Klinefelter XXY and explained the syndrome, she offered an abortion. I know that this is her job as a practitioner but it felt like an attack on my sweet baby. As I felt my son kicking in my belly, someone was explaining to me that if we wanted to terminate his life, it needed to be done in the next two weeks. I was overly emotional as I informed her that abortion was not an option for our family. I only knew what she had told me about Klinefelter XXY in the short phone call, and yet I still couldn’t fathom how any of the symptoms she described were grounds to terminate my baby’s life.
This was my first glimpse into what it is like to be a parent to a “different” child. My heart instantly broke for all of the special needs parents who have been fighting for their children’s well-being since the womb. And it broke even more for the parents who may have been wrongly convinced that their babies were not worth living.
As we moved forward and started doing very light research, we informed some of our family and friends. We were thankful that it appeared Klinefelter XXY was not a threat to his health, but in the same realm, that creates room for people to be dismissive about his condition. What a strange dichotomy to suddenly be thrust into.
As the months passed, we became more positive about the diagnosis. One of the main reasons was truly Living with XXY. My mother-in-law found a video made by Ryan on Youtube and shared it with us. It was so refreshing to find someone so seemingly “normal” who was living with this condition. Everything, before we found Living with XXY on the internet, had been pretty doom and gloom, lists of serious challenges and obstacles.
The night he was born, I didn’t even think about Klinefelter XXY. All I could do was stare at my perfect boy – however, he was born, this is how he was meant to be. Seeing him alive, in the flesh, alert and healthy made most of our fears dissipate. We got a diagnosis confirmation shortly after his birth with the cord blood testing and although we still have concerns for his future, our approach has changed.
We are still very new parents and we haven’t had to confront many of the symptoms of Klinefelter XXY, but with the support of other Klinefelter XXY families, I feel much more confident. I can be positive, proactive, and teach my son to honor his differences instead of hiding them.
I really pray that as a community, we can share Klinefelter XXY with the world in a way that it hasn’t been shared before. I believe that we can show people that worth isn’t measured in chromosomes. We can empower parents to instill confidence and strength into their Klinefelter XXY sons. We can create a world with tools and resources for our babies to thrive and be seen as the blessings that they are. Written by “Jaclyn Childers” a loving mother. Other community stories like ours can be found HERE